March 6, 2008

Change it up

I'm not great with change. Not a huge fan. I'd like to think I've gotten better at it in the past couple years, but I'm still aware that I resist it.
I was reminded of this when I walked into my religion class on tuesday to find another girl sitting in MY seat. Now keep in mind that we are no longer in elementary school and we don't have assigned seats, but come on. After about a week or two of classes everyone tends to fall into a pattern, and they generally stay in the same seats. (I've actually accidentally taken this to the extreme: I have 3 classes that are all in the same room, and at this point I've ended up sitting in the exact same seat in every one of them). Anyways, walking into class and trying to head to my usual seat only to find it taken seriously threw me off.
I fall into so many patterns and rituals in my life. I really enjoy that consistency. But that means that when something changes (something so small as someone sitting in my seat (that's not even MINE!)), I get easily thrown off balance. I'll admit that I even thought I was in the wrong classroom for a minute.

In my amazing awesome journal that I've been looking back through lately, I can see specific times when I was praying for God to throw me off. To change it up. To give me anything because I could feel myself getting so comfortable with life. I get so hooked on my habits sometimes that I need Him to put something in my way, to stop me from sitting in the same seat over and over again and missing out on another view.

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