December 29, 2007

Hello, my name is ____.

I kind of wish that my friends would call me by name more often. I feel like we all spend so much time together that eventually we're all just running around yelling "Hey!" and waiting for the right person to respond. [Aside from all of Michael's "Kelleh!!!'s" of course]

I was thinking about this tonight when I realized that this is what I have in God. I have a Father who calls me by name every single time. Your name is the thing that your brain recognizes instantly and likes. We like hearing our names called. We like being recognized and being handed an identity. Sometimes it doesn't seem like it, but God is so personal that He's calling on every single one of us by our names. I really have a hard time of letting Him be extremely personal and close to me, but remembering that every time He calls me, He calls me by my name that He gave me helps.
I can't get enough of Him.

December 26, 2007

it would be an injustice not to see...

...that kind of love live on.

So to sort of follow up on the last blog, I'm extremely worn down by the attitude within my family this holiday break.

I know that one of the places where you really let your guard down as a Christian is around your family, particularly if your family doesn't share the same kind of faith with you. You might be able to hold it all together and watch what you say, how you react and how you treat everyone else when you're not with your family and somehow as soon as you get home you let yourself go and start to tear them down, whether you do it directly by words or indirectly by attitude. It kills me to see people treat their family like junk, so I try and make an effort not to do the same. However, I'm finding it extremely hard to have a good, positive attitude around my family lately. I keep getting discouraged by the fact that one of my stepsisters isn't sure she believes in God at all, the other has such an incredibly wicked attitude, and my brother can't seem to sacrifice the smallest thing to help me out for less than a day. [Okay, that's it. I'm done complaining, I promise].

It has been so hard for me to keep up a good attitude and positive energy, and I'll be honest and say that I've done a bad job of it this week. Satan definitely knows where to hit you. Not only does he instigate, but he helps you come up with excuses of why it's okay for you to not live like Christ for a day because your circumstance is just that bad. Which is total crap because no circumstance is bad enough that we can't keep following Christ. To follow Him means to try and live like Him which means to love unconditionally and lay down your own comfort for the comfort and safety and happiness of others. Honestly, in my family, I may be one of the only people who ever tries to show them Jesus. I may be the only person who ever prays in front of them and in doing so can show them how amazing it is to be able to talk and communicate with God. I may be the person who turns it around for them so that they wouldn't just say that they believed in God but that they would live for Him...or at least try.

It sucks and it's hard. As soon as I left Charlotte on Monday, I was pretty much in a bad mood. Today was freaking Christmas, and I was in a bad mood. The last thing I'm doing is showing my family that God has put this incredible, incessant joy inside of my heart. But especially in the past few weeks, I have prayed that God would provide, and He has. I'm confident that He will lift me out of this stupid funk I'm in and push me on to become a strong, bright, real light to the people who think that they know me best.

P.S. Aside from not ever getting that actual Christmas feeling (which I partially blame on the chaos surrounding Sarsparilla City and Cricket) and being in a bad mood most of the day, Christmas wasn't all that bad. For the first time in years, I was genuinely surprised by a present I got. Here are the highlights:

-a freaking Nikon d40 (which would be the unexpected gift)
-a nintendo DS with pokemon and mario (yes, I am a 10 year-old boy, thanks for asking)
-a North Face jacket
-$55 in itunes
-a bazillion other giftcards
-family guy, volume 5
-and I will possibly be taking the Wii to school with me as long as my brother decides to love me a little because he got an xbox 360.
Merry CHRISTmas

December 24, 2007

The Difference Between Family and Family

I'm sure there are at least a few other people who go to Elevation who would agree with what I'm about to blog about.

Why does it seem like it's so much harder for our own actual family to show us love than it is for our "family" of Elevators and friends?

I know my family loves me, but a lot of times I feel like they show me love and do things for me out of obligation rather than pure love or compassion. Example: I think this weekend was one of the most stressful I've seen at Elevation since I've been here. Actually, it wasn't really stressful for me, but everyone around me was pretty much freaking out. But the stress that we experience together from putting on a production like Winter Blast or Christmas in Sarsparilla City or whatevertheheckit'scalled doesn't tear us apart. In fact, at the end of the day, I think we're all just glad that these are the people we have to be stressed with because at this point we know each other well enough to deal with it and move on rather than kill each other.

This weekend my car broke down halfway between Greenville and Charlotte. My mom picked me up and took me to Charlotte so I could be up there for sunday, and that meant such a great deal to me but I could tell she was super frustrated by it. As soon as I got to Charlotte, to Jeremy's house, I was reminded that my family extends far beyond my parents and my brother. I spent the weekend between apartments and in more than few cars, trying to get to where I needed to go. Not once did I hear anyone I was with complain or grumble about having to drag me around all weekend. And though it was pretty stressful to go through the weekend not knowing how I was going to get 2 hours south by today, I'm realizing that God is continually teaching me to lean on Him. Three people offered to get me at least halfway there, and I know there are others who would have taken me if I had absolutely no other way. There are times where I feel like a huge inconvenience and a shadow to my family at Elevation, but I've never been stranded or temporarily homeless or hungry, and I've never had any of them roll their eyes when I need something (or when any of us need something, for that matter). So why is it that my actual family at home has a seriously problem helping me out. I don't understand how I can be around them for less than an hour and feel like a huge inconvenience. I feel like it's so much trouble to help me out.

This weekend showed me that in the past couple weeks God has seriously been teaching me how to lean on Him, and He's been reinforcing my love of the people in my life as resources. My family at Elevation has so many personalities combined into one loving, selfless, compassionate body of people. So while coming home can get really frustrating really quickly, I'm always comforted by the fact that 2 hours north I have a huge family willing to put their comfort on the line for me.

On an unrelated note: I do NOT enjoy Christmas anymore. I am in love with the story of the birth, life and death of Jesus. I am in love with my salvation and the fact that God gave up everything in Himself and His son so that we, while still completely unworthy, would be saved and made clean. I can't get enough of that. But the actual Christmas day of December 25th means nothing to me, and I'm not looking forward to opening presents tomorrow morning at ALL. It makes me feel selfish. But uh...merry Christmas?

December 21, 2007

hope that this works out alright

Resources will resume next time.
Until then:

I've been learning a lot in the past 3 and 1/2 months about the way God works through our obedience or lack thereof. I've been learning a lot about how He moves people in and out of our lives. This can be an easier, simple process, or this can be a really difficult, painful process. It all depends on:

1. How you choose to view the movement of people in and out of your life.
2. Whether or not you choose to be obedient to Him when He calls someone in our out of your life.
3. How those people choose to enter and leave your life.

1. I think most people choose to see someone leaving their life as a negative thing. A lot of times it is, but sometimes you need to cut the rope that ties you to people who bring you down. Sometimes there's just so much history between two people, that the only way to guard hearts is to separate and move on. I'm learning that even though I may be losing someone significant from my life, it's the only real way to guard my heart from what could happen.
2. Obedience is vital. Sometimes it's hard for me to understand exactly what God is calling me to do, but there's a big difference between not understanding what He's calling me to and hearing what He's calling me to and simply refusing to obey. In one situation, it's okay to make the mistake; I can only understand to the best of my ability. On the other hand, disobedience = more separation than is worth it. If God is telling you that a certain person in your life is bringing you down, then the obedient thing to do is to separate yourself from them.
3. It makes a big difference when someone chooses to peacefully bow out of your life. When someone leaves with the intention to disrupt your heart and emotions, it's dangerous. When someone leaves with the intention of guarding both of your hearts and letting each of you grow and experience life in a new way, it's magnificent and entirely helpful.

While my view of the way others move in and out of my life is important, it's also really important for me to make sure that I understand the effects I have on others when I choose to move in or out of their lives.

After all of that, I still don't think there is an easy way for someone to just walk out of your life...but it happens.

December 20, 2007

Resources (2)

Today's resource: PEOPLE!!!

I never realized until this year, in these past couple of months, how important the people in my life are. Specifically through Elevation, God has put some phenomenal people in my life who teach me, love me and serve with me. The ones that I'm closest to are anywhere from 14 to 25 years old, and every single one of them has taught me something I could not have learned on my own.

Something I've really been focusing on lately is perspective. I think it's really important to look at a situation from every angle. If you've met me, you've probably picked up on the fact that I talk a lot...a LOT. Because the more I talk about a problem I'm working through, the more likely I am to solve it quickly. And if I'm talking to you about a problem of mine, it's because I desperately need a perspective other than my own in order to solve it. And I've really found recently that getting these other perspectives gets me through the problems fast, which is a great thing. I feel like I say this a lot, but I really strongly believe it: God put us on the earth with billions of other people for a reason. The community you have around you is so imporant. The people who speak into your life have the power to teach you so many things you might not have learned on your own.

Recently, I got out of a relationship. While this guy's first response was ridiculously negative, it's been three months, and apparently he's at the point where he's okay to be friends with me. While this is fine, I'm well aware that this is the time where I need to guard my heart. I have a ton of great people who get access to me and my heart and my emotions, and I don't think that this person should all of a sudden get that same access. These people have chosen to speak love, strength and encouragement to me. They have been an amazing resource to me, teaching me about God's love and helping me understand Him and His word and His people better. I'm confident that these same people are going to continue to teach me how to protect myself so that I can grow in Him without getting distracted.

Example: I have two bibles: one NIV and one Message Remix. A lot of times, when I don't understand something in one version, I read the same passage in the other because the different wording of it helps me understand it better. The people who surround you are an incredible resource. They give different views and perspectives and teach you things that you might not have been able to see on your own.


[Next resources: leaders (kind of like people)
and experiences.

December 19, 2007


God has given us such an abundance of resources, and every day I find myself taking them for granted.
Today's point: the BIBLE!!!

I love my Bible. It's wrapped in duct tape and written on, inside and out. It was the first Bible I got after I was saved, and I plan on keeping it for the rest of my life if it doesn't completely fall apart on me. So it is physically, tangibly important to me; I literally feel comforted when I'm holding it in front of me. I almost always have it with me. Aside from that, of course it's vital to my life and relationship with God.
Somehow, I never used to think that reading it on a consistent basis was important. It has honestly taken me 2 or 3 years to understand how important the Bible is. I had finally gotten into the habit of reading it (nearly) every night before bed. But over the past two weeks with school ending and moving in with Jennica and getting ready for CHRISTmas and all of the chaos, I've fallen out of that habit. I won't act like those are valid excuses; I just let myself get distracted. And every night, wherever I am, I get into bed and at the very last minute I think "Oh dang, I probably should've just taken an extra 10 or 15 minutes to read a chapter." Over the past 2 weeks, I've probably taken the time to really read my Bible twice (finally finished Matthew tonight). That sucks. And I can physically feel the effect it has on me. I can feel a gap starting form in my relationship with God as the number of days I skip increase.

God inspired the words of the Bible, and the authors were smart enough to actually write them down and pass them on. He took the time to give us valuable, life-giving information. He gave us a weapon. One that I don't pick up and use nearly enough. There are beautiful words stored in the pages of the Bible that can win an argument so much faster than anything we could come up with on our own. There's love and grace and life. There are answers. The Bible is probably our greatest tangible resource. It's also probably the resource I take for granted the most. I know I have so much to learn from it, and I consistently push it aside and leave it behind. But I'm learning.

December 18, 2007

throw off your prison chains

When I was a junior and senior in high school, I had a core group of girls around me. Formerly known as "the Senior girls...and Kelly," even when they went to college. These are the girls that first invited me to a new church, were there with me when I was saved, and pushed me through to understand what it meant to be a Christian and how to actually live it. I loved these girls with my life, and I still love them but I'm realizing that somehow I don't know anything about them. We've all changed a lot in the past 2 or 3 years, so that might have something to do with it. In reality, I'm pretty sure that there were always things (what I consider really important things) that I just never knew about them.

People are always going to have secrets. I understand that. There are just some bits of information that probably will never be shared, but I don't understand when people you consider your best friends choose to hide the most important details of their lives from you. I really strongly believe that we are supposed to rely on God first and foremost but that He gave us friends and siblings for a reason and that we are meant to share our burdens with each other. I guess that's why I'm really open with people. Every single one of my friends has a different perspective, and I can learn something from every one of them. I can solve my problems better with your outlook on them. And if I consider you a close friend, I wouldn't want you to find out something that I had been holding back and think "Wow...that totally changes how I see her. I wish I could've known that because I'd probably understand her a little better."

I could just be bitter that I feel left out, but I'd probably understand "my girls" better if they chose to share their lives with me like I thought they had been doing. I'm not asking for what they think every second of every day; I'm just realizing that a lot of people are one way on the surface (which is fantastic), but they can also hide a lot of things that make them who they really are (who can be equally fantastic, but insanely different).

December 12, 2007

I'm too tired to make sense

For me, it seems that when I'm oblivious to something, I am really oblivious to it. But once that something is finally revealed to me, it's like a freaking elephant in the room ,and all of a sudden everything about it escalates and I'm swallowed by it (not the elephant, the problem).

Case in point: my grandma was recently diagnosed with dementia and Alzheimer's and all that jank. I'm sure her brain had been going through whatever process this is for a long time. She finally had to stop driving a couple months ago, and that was right before the actual diagnosis. What's weird to me is that she didn't seem to start really spiralling down until she was actually told she had Alzheimer's. So I have two theories for that. Either:

1. She didn't really understand that it was happening. So when the doctor told her she was actually suffering from a disease, she let it win and consume her and she stopped resisting whatever had been confusing her for the past months or years or whatever. or
2. My family and I didn't understand what was happening. So when the doctor told us she was actually suffering from a disease, we stopped ignoring it. So where she might have been just as bad before, we only noticed it beause it was pointed out to us.

When I slip up or do something ridiculously dumb, a lot of times I don't notice. Even if I get hurt or offended by it, I'd so much rather have someone point out my mistakes instead of letting me go making them. Unfortunately, once that mistake is pointed out, I tend to freak out because I realize how much in the past I've really committed that same sin. I may not have noticed (or I may have made a really small deal out if it and ignored it to the best of my ability), so when it's finally pointed out to me, I freak out and get really embarassed at how much in the past I've let detrimental habits form patterns.

Lately, my grandma's confusion and loss is so completely noticeable, but it wasn't until she was officially diagnosed with Alzheimer's. And looking back, there were a lot of instances that should have led us to take her to the doctor a long time ago. Looking back, we wonder why we didn't take action and fix the problem so much sooner. But at this point, all we can do is keep moving and adapt to what's fallen on us.
I was listening to the "Confessions of a Pastor" series and Pastor talked about going to his counselor, and he said roughly: we look back on our lives and see our mistakes and repeated sins, and we think back dramatically on how terrible we were. What we need to focus on is that who we are now, who we've grown to be, is better than who we used to be.
My grandma herself is going to get worse, but at least we know why she's suffering and confused and we can help her adapt and be comfortable. I used to do so many horrible things; I still get a lot wrong, but I'm learning from my mistakes and moving forward.

[I also want to say that I officially started this post at 11:49pm and it is now 1:15am when I'm finally done writing it. So if it doesn't make sense...that's why]

December 10, 2007

in this world we will shine

Note: the part in itallics is what I found exciting and moving about yesterday. If you don't like posts about what happened during my day or personal things, go ahead and skip down to the plain text.

First, let me say this weekend was amazing, and it's as clear as it's ever been that God is moving in such a huge way, especially in the lives of people at Elevation. I keep receiving e-mails and letters of people's experiences at Elevation and with God because of the work being done in this church. I'm so blessed that people have chosen to share these with me, and I'm really excited to be a part of all this. And the amount of high schoolers that stood up last night and answered the call of God on their hearts was mind-blowing. I love crying and laughing at the same time because God is just that big.

That wasn't my point; that was just exciting. Yesterday morning in Motion, Jackie called while we were practicing and told me she would be showing up late...if she would even show up at all. This somehow left me in charge of running worship and acting. I felt bad that she was sick, but I have to be honest and say that it was really exciting for me that I got to step up and make sure everyone was on top of everything. And I have to agree with Jackie when she says that the actors and worship leaders really make her job easy. Everyone knows what they're supposed to know and does exactly what they need to in order to make everything come together. I really didn't have to do much at all. I'm really proud of the people I get to work with every week. And I apologize again because that wasn't my point either.

My point IS that as I was leading worship yesterday (after screwing up and missing the first song and crying a lot and then being assured that it was okay and remembering that the people I serve with are beyond amazing and if there's any environment in which it's alright to make a human mistake, it's at this church), I noticed something. During the bridge of "Always with You" there aren't any set movements; it's basically just everyone worshiping God as they want. Well I move around a lot worshiping, and I noticed that during this part, all of the kids continued to follow exactly what I did. Even though they didn't have to at that point, they had been following me up until that point, and they decided that they would continue to follow me the entire way.

Elevation's vision is so that people far from God will be filled with life in Christ. We were built so that people who don't know God can find Him. Because that's what we're made for, we're surrounded by a lot of people who are new in their faith and still finding their way through it. As the volunteers and leaders of the church, the ones who have been around for a while and who are assumed to be pretty far along in our walks with God, we are the ones who those people turn to and look at. Even if we don't feel like we are worthy of being followed, we will be. The things we do are constantly watched. I don't notice that I'm noticed until someone takes the time to tell me, and that's kind of scary beecause I don't always keep track of what I'm doing or how I'm acting. What we need to remember is that we are constantly being watched and followed, even when we don't expect it. We are always meant to be an example of Christ and His love. I didn't tell the kids to follow me through that part of the song, but they chose to because I had led them in everything else. I'm not asking anyone to follow my example, but I'm aware that what I do can leave a big impression.

December 5, 2007

if You could love me as your wife...

A month or so ago, several friends of mine went to see Derek Webb. I hadn't heard of him before, and I actually just got his album "The House Show" yesterday from Jeremy. His voice isn't the best (at least not on this album, live), but I think the songs are great. One song that I knew I would love just from the lyrics and the concept is "Wedding Dress." As an intro to the song, Derek talks about how the Gospel is beautiful and offensive and it has to be both. It's dangerous, and it's controversial. Jesus is dangerous, controversial, beautiful, offensive and scandalous. There's not much that's safe about Him.

I was having a conversation with a friend last night about this. In terms of people receiving the Gospel, I think for "newer" Christians, it can be good to present a safer, cleaner, protective Gospel. A saving Jesus, not a fighting one (for some reason, He can't be both, I guess). I think that if you force a dangerous, controversial view of God onto them, they're more likely to be turned off from it early on. But I think that safe stage should only last a really short period of time (and the more I think about it, the more I think people should just suck it up and be thankful that Jesus even wanted to fight for them in the first place). Because I don't believe that you can learn much from staying safe. I think that presenting the Gospel in a way that threatens your comfort and challenges you to look beyond the box you know you've already managed to place God in is an amazing idea. I don't feel like people can learn much unless they're challenged. I haven't learned much from the things that didn't challenge me.

When it comes to Jesus, I'm learning to like hearing the things that make people shift in their seats. It's part of why I love listening to Pastor Furtick every week. He's challenging, and he's really not afraid to say things that make people nervous. (My favorite example so far being the "I should be in hell" example). This song is something that breaks us down a little. I think it's funny how one word can throw some people off:

I am a whore, I do confess.
I put You on just like a wedding dress, and I run down the aisle to You.
I am so easily satisfied by the call of lovers less wild
that I would take a little cash over Your very flesh and blood.

I guarantee someone flinched at the word "whore." But Derek writes it and sings it and claims it to explain that we give ourselves away to so many things. We cheat on God, and we give ourselves away to "lovers less wild." Things and people who will never amount to the Love that God gives. Jesus is more beautiful than any lover we will ever find on earth, but we continue to give ourselves away to money and sex and worldly "love."

God is Love, and Love is real and wild and dangerous and comforting but still unsafe. And there's a difference between comfort and safety. God is comforting to me. He gives me peace when my brain can't comprehend how things are going to work out. But God is not safe. Sharing the word of God is not safe. People are going to get mad. People are going to reject it, and they'll reject you for sharing it [Matthew 24:9]. But then again, who's going to take notice of something that's plain and safe. Who wants to follow a God that stays inside the lines and never challenges you to grow.

I'm growing in directions I didn't even know existed.
My God is bigger than neat lines and small boxes and safe boundaries. My God has no boundaries. My God is reckless and dangerous and passionately in love with me, His daughter. He has fought for me, I'll fight for Him.

How's your work ethic?

I feel like my blogging sucks lately. I think I tend to want to write mediocre things rather than wait for some really good idea to come along, so...I'll try and fix this.

Matthew 24:42-44 says "Therefore, keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But undersand this: if the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect Him."

You know when you were in school and you did your work while the teacher was in the room or standing near you, but as soon as the teacher left (or whenever you had a substitute, really), you stopped working? Honestly, I still do that sometimes [I don't think any of my classrooms should have computers with internet on them because facebook is ridiculously distracting]. Anyways, the good thing about those times is that your teacher wasn't God, and yea sometimes they probably knew you weren't doing any work. Most of the time, though, you're able to hide that.

I think it's funny that I act like there are times when it's okay for me to not be doing any work for God. Like He's left the room for a minute and I have some time to slack off. Like He's turned His back for a second and I can take a break. I like this part of the passage because Jesus basically says "You're never going to know when I'm coming back, so stop guessing. You'll always be wrong, so don't worry about it. Just keep working like I'm still here. Just keep doing what I've called you to do, even when you think I'm not watching."
I'm not sure how we convince ourselves that He's not constantly watching, but He is. And when we stop working for Him, He knows, and my guess would be that it hurts Him. His efforts and all of the things He's taught us get lost sometimes; we're too easily distracted, too easily satisfied by things less than Him and we stop working.

December 4, 2007

shine Your light on us

[Note: this happened on Thanksgiving, and I never went back to finish it so.. the timing is off but it will always apply for me]

My stepsister, Jackie, is 10 years old. She's in fourth grade, and she has a wicked attitude. I don't see her very often, and when I do, it's hard for me to be the best big sister she can have. It wasn't until tonight, though, that I realized how important my actions and words are to her.

My brother (Michael, 17), my other stepsister (Teisha, 14), Jackie and I were all bowling and golfing on the Wii. We're all messing around and having a good time and picking on each other and just being siblings. At one point Jackie was walking away and Michael tripped her. She didn't actually fall and she wasn't hurt, but it was funny. I had to laugh. It was just a perfect opportunity for him to move, he did, she stumbled, good times.So later she comes back into the room and sits on the couch and glares at me as I play. She keeps making really rude comments and generally being mean to me. This really isn't anything new, but I really didn't think I had done anything to her this time. Someone finally asked her why she was mad at me and she said because I laughed at her when she tripped. So I looked her in the eye and apologized for being rude and laughing at her when she was embarassed. It took me a minute to understand why I was the one getting the brunt of her anger when Michael was the one who tripped her and I'm sure my dad and Teisha laughed as well.

I could not figure it out until it hit me that I'm the oldest and I'm the one who's "always at church" or doing "crap for Jesus." It's my responsibility to be a loving older sister. It's my responsibility to be the light of Jesus for these girls and Michael (and, when it comes down to it, my mom, dad and stepmom). I'm not sure if I can feel accomplished in sharing God's love unless I can manage to share it with my family...None of them have my kind of faith (I'm not saying one's better or worse: just different). We're all just really different, and we don't share. So even if any of them did feel and live the same way I do, I wouldn't know it. Feeling like it's my responsibility to be the main source of Jesus in 6 people's lives is a good deal of weight on me. I like it, and it's teaching me. I feel like over the past year I've learned how to do a better job at it. I know because when I sincerely looked at Jackie and apologized for laughing at her, she was floored. Absolutely speechless. She just looked at me like I was stupid, but it was good. She understood that something different happened and all our fights don't have to end with tears and hateful words.
She's learning, I'm learning, it's all good.

December 2, 2007

this is heaven to no one else but me

I believe everyone connects to God in different ways.
I'm figuring out why music is so important to me. Some people read the Bible and automatically connect to God. Some people pray/talk to Him and automatically connect. I sing, and I'm there.

I think the two main gifts that God chose to bless me with are singing and loving kids (and yes, I really believe that the ability to love children is a gift, and I've seen people who don't have it). I've been singing for as long as I can remember and, I do not and never plan on having the right words to explain how much I enjoy worshiping God this way. Today it's hitting me hard, and I'm realizing exactly how grateful I am that God has placed me in this place at this time on this planet to do the things I'm doing. Leading worship for Motion and singing background vocals in church are two of the most unbelievable things I get to be a part of, and they connect me to God like nothing else does. I'm so thankful that I go to a church where it's okay for us to jump around and act ridiculous. I'm so thankful that I'm at a church that allows me to express all of the love that's in me towards my Savior. I'm so thankful that I'm at a stage in my walk where I don't really mind the weird looks people give me for doing that.

I don't even want to post this blog because nothing I can say or write can really convey the depth of what singing and worship is to my heart.
But I want to point out the amazing parts of today:

-Motion worship was the best I've seen it so far. It was so much fun, even with the glitches in the songs and the confused kids.
-I got to run around with Phillip and Katlyn all morning, screaming at kids to come to Pulse next week and jumping around for Jesus (speaking of which, Pulse is going to be amazing).
-I snuck at peak at the end of the the third service at Providence when Pastor gave the invitation. It literally brought tears to my eyes to see the number of hands go up. God is leaving me speechless more and more lately. All I could do was laugh and tell Him how awesome He is over and over.
-Several people really came through today, and we all managed to pull of Jennica's (mostly) surprise party with success. God has put together such an awesome group of people that continue to grow and laugh and serve God together every week. I'm blown away. You guys are phenomenal, and I love you so much.