December 15, 2008


A couple weeks ago at work, it hit me. I'm not sure why it happened at work of all places, but I realized that I've been pretty lame lately. I've just been really stale and stagnant in terms of my walk with God. I've been kind of sitting and maybe scooching my butt up a couple inches every now and then, but for the most part I've been pretty still. The worst part is that I still haven't really made any strong efforts to change, and I had this realization at least a week and 1/2 ago.
I still pray every day. I thank God for the wonderful gifts He has given me in so many different forms. The weird thing about this phase is that I don't feel hollow or empty or hopeless like I sometimes do, I just don't feel like I'm trying very hard. And that might be even more dangerous. I don't want to be content. I don't want to just get by. I want to fight. I want to be a woman of God. I want to be so much more than what I'm allowing myself to be lately.
I don't have much to say about this except that I will try and prayers would be amazing. Part of the problem is that I'm so busy that I don't spend a lot of time with anyone anymore and I miss out on the encouragement and fellowship I used to experience so often. Maybe once I figure out how to juggle school, work, church and a boyfriend, I'll get back to that, too. So many things...