February 10, 2008

I think I'm learning

I've been having a huge problem with feeling God personally lately, duh. I need to hold on to nights like tonight when I'm struggling with that. I had a phenomenal time getting to worship on stage tonight for the live recording. The energy was so intense, and the atmosphere was fantastic. Half the time I was up there I was just laughing at what God has been doing in the past 2 years for us and what He was doing right in front of me right at that moment; He puts so much joy in me. It was a good night. But somehow all of that buildup came crashing down on me afterwards. I don't really know what happened. But I can tell you that Jesus held me tonight.

God held me in the form of two amazing people wrapping their arms around me, praying for me and dealing with my sweat, tears and snot (yeah, I don't care if it's gross, Jesus spit in people's eyes, okay?) I just need to hold on to moments like these where I'm surrounded (literally and figuratively) by encouragement and hope for my life. I have a long way to go and I'm already tired, but I believe God will continue to send me people to hold me and love me and maybe that's how He'll become personal to me again.
...it sucks and it hurts. but there's pain in the process, so I've been told.

P.S. Thanks, Phillip, for sending me home. I'm going to sleep now.

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