Lately I've found that I have a really easy time loving the things, people, resources and events that God has put in my life, but I have a really hard time loving the actual Creator God who put them there.
If you've read my blog, you can see how much I love my friends. God has blessed me with a fantastic entourage and community that manages to constantly provide for me in love and resources. These people have taken care of me like nobody's business. I'm so thankful for them. Even if it's all taken care of last minute, I know I always have a place to sleep and a way to get there.
I'm also really thankful for my church and the events that take place in it, both during the week and on Sundays. I love the staff at Elevation. They've also found ways to provide for me, maybe without even knowing it. I'm crazy about the way God has strategically placed me in Charlotte and at Winthrop. I love what I'm a part of.
Lately, my things have been breaking. My car, my phone charger, some other minor things. It's opened my eyes a little to see that I've done a really great job in loving these things that God has put in my life in the past year, but that has pushed me away from my God. I've been focusing so hard on how grateful I am for these people and these material things in my life that I've neglected to take the time to praise the actual Creator of everything I have and everything I am. I am suffering a lot for this. I'm in a hole right now, and I'm struggling to feel God as a personal presence in my life...ironic, considering the series we just got out of.
One of the big things is quiet time (or what I refer to as 'small time.' I'm not really sure why). I've gotten out of the habit lately and I really feel it dragging me away from Him. I'm in desperate need of Him to be close to me because I'm feeling especially empty lately. I think desperation is a good thing in some cases. At least I'm trying. I'm still breathing.
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