Please

I need prayers.
Considering Sunday's sermon and tonight's small group discussion and recent events, I feel like now would be an appropriate time to ask for prayers. Even via blog.

I have never been so desperate for something for a period of time and received absolutely no consolation, no answers, no relief. I have no problem putting my personal feelings on this website. If all you need to know is that I need prayers, then you can quit reading.
It seems to me that the only time lately that I've been able to feel like my heart is on fire for God is during worship, specifically through singing (and dancing if it's in Motion), and this leads me to believe that my worship is based on very specific circumstances and is therefore conditional. And I am not okay with that. I'm not okay if that is the only time I feel God's presence in me. The past couple of months have been a whirlwind of change and drama and general shifting within my closest friends. Maybe all of that took my attention off of my most important relationship. And after tonight, I'm hoping I can begin to find peace with what's happening so that I can really honestly focus on the opportunities God has been setting up for me.

I wasn't in the service on Sunday, but I wish I was, just for the end when certain people were prayed over in a specific way. I got a glimpse of it Sunday morning when the amazing people I lead worship and act with in Motion basically wrapped their arms around me and prayed for peace over my heart. And tonight when our small group took turns praying over each other. Jesus is taking time to physically wrap His arms around me through the people He's blessed me with, and that's helping. But if you think you might pray for me this week, please pray that He would continue to reach out to me and allow me to feel Him personally again. I can't do this alone, and I can't do this just with the people around me. Before any of that, I desperately crave His personal affection and attention.