you've got so much Love in you

hooray for 2 am blog posts and the rocket summer and cherry coke and a full calendar to look forward to.
yes, i said hooray.
i am in a great mood.

if you've met me or talked to me at all in the past 2 months, you'll know there's a lot going on in my life right now when it comes to relationships with people.
i just got out of a 2 year on-and-off (don't you love high school) relationship. it didn't end pretty. and then right after i felt like i was losing all of my friendships that i had built up last year at school. and i knew God would do something in my life with that. He gives and takes away. He takes away and gives.
He took a good deal away from me (at least, i thought so). He's giving me back so much more.

i am amazed. blown away. overwhelmed by the people i have in my life right now.
i missed the Entourage series because this summer i somehow got so caught up with home that i lost most of my interest in Elevation, but i plan on going back and listening to it in the near future. from what i know, it's about who you let speak into your life. who you let surround you and influence you. and i'm learning that those people are so important.and that my people are great. my entourage is powerful.

i'm honestly not sure if i've ever felt this much love in my entire life. it goes so far beyond any kind of "romantic" relationship i could be in right now. it goes far beyond surface level "hey, what's up" friends. it's honestly family. it's people who laugh together and deal with problems and stress together and love each other unconditionally and hold each other up and cover each other's weaknesses and bring out each other's amazing qualities.

some of them are people that i've known for a year or more that have been consistently building up trust and love with me. who trust me for advice. who support me. who give up their own comfort and make sacrifices to take care of me just because we're friends.
some of them are people i've met anywhere from a week ago to 2 months ago who have spoken into my life more than i could've imagined possible. who make me laugh harder than i've gotten to laugh in what feels like years. who show me God within them and their hearts and the way they love.
i'm still trying to get to know these people. because as much as they have put into my life, i honestly don't know very much about some of them. for some, this will be easy for me to do. for others, it's going to be extremely difficult, but i'm determined. i'm not going to lose this.

one of the most frustrating things to me is when i meet someone and for some reason or another we both automatically assume that each of us doesn't like the other. i assume they don't like me and they assume i don't like them. i really don't know if there has ever been a case where i met someone and just did not like them. the whole process can take off months of what could be a really strong friendship. luckily, that's been happening less lately. i keep meeting these people who are so open and welcoming that they make it really easy to love and be loved as brothers and sisters in Christ.

God puts people in our lives for a reason. and i'm finding people in mine who let me cry to them. who let me laugh at stupid things with them. who let me dance and go crazy with them. who let me worship Him with them. who put up with my annoying habits and characteristics and insist that i'm really not that bad. people who let me share what God is doing with my life with them. and who will share back. and if God hadn't begun to give me all of this right when He did, i would be falling apart right now. but i'm not. because He is good. and He sustains. and He Loves. and He is Love.
i am in a great mood. i have been for the past month and 1/2.

[oh, my soul has never had this feeling
it feels like gold
you got so much love in you]