and i know that i have been forgiven

i am constantly on some sort of tangent.
i am constantly stuck on something, whether it's:
-a certain song
-a certain book
-a certain quote
-a certain person
-a certain concept
-a certain picture (see picture under "this is me" and on my facebook haha)
-a certain life lesson-type thing.

for example, a month or so ago i was stuck on obedience because i had finally jumped off a cliff to be obedient to God and it paid off big time. and i'll never forget that.
right now, i think i'm about to get stuck on forgiveness and freedom. well, really i'm always stuck on freedom. it's such an amazing thing to behold.

i've got scars. physical. emotional. whatever. everyone has them.
and they can be seriously detrimental to growth. because if all you can see is the actual scar and not the lesson it helped produce, you get nowhere.
i have the word "freedom" permanently etched into my wrist for a reason. the word itself is important. the placement of it on my arm is important. it is a constant reminder that God gives me freedom from my sin and my scars and my shame and my mistakes on a daily basis. but there are rules. i can't get to finally enjoy any kind of freedom until i accept the fact that Jesus died to forgive my sins. until i accept forgiveness, i will never have freedom. if i don't ask for forgiveness and honestly believe i'm getting it, then it means nothing to me. and does nothing for me.

when i've messed up in the past (with one thing in particular) i've asked for forgiveness, but i've never taken it. i felt bad about the issue because my friends hated it. becuase they wanted me to change it, i acted like i was changing it. and there really were times i felt bad for it and i would ask forgiveness, but because i didn't believe i could get it, i was left with the same empty, disappointed feelings i'd had before.
and this time around, it's different. and i'm learning that God is totally ready to forgive us and forget how bad we manage to screw ourselves up. He wants to help us grow from it and make us better because of it. our life lessons are not learned in vain. i have a lot to learn, but i am finally feeling the freedom of forgiveness. i'm finally asking and taking.

freedom is something that is so spectacular. so phenomenal. honestly.
i guarantee there will be a blog coming completely devoted to just that and what it means to me.