we won't be quiet

i am extremely emotional.

not because i am a girl, thank you. i know plenty of girls who basically never cry. shut up, boy.
it's because that's how God chose to make me.
and i have spent most of my life annoyed by this and wanting it to change, and there are many times i still do want it to change. but for some reason, over the past year or so, i've been realizing that the whole overly-emotional thing isn't always bad.

because being emotional doesn't just mean i cry a lot, even if that is the case. lately, i've found out that it means i feel EVERY emotion stronger. i really believe i feel things stronger than 99% of the people i'm friends with. sometimes, yea this is bad. because sometimes i can be overly dramatic about things. sometimes i feel like such a child because i make such a big deal about things that no one else really cares much about. i just feel things differently.

there are two areas where this overload of emotions shows up the most:
-God/elevation
-music.
which really the three are just like one big group most of the time. because most of the music that makes me feel the most, i've gotten from or because of elevation.

God is teaching me that there is no shame in letting myself be consumed.

when i step into providence or butler high schools or think about going there or hear music we play there or hang out with people i know from elevation i FLIP OUT inside. i love it. my chest.. my lungs.. my heart is on fire for what God does through this body. and as soon i walk in and hear the music.. i'm gone. and i am consumed by what God does with me in that time. and i will dance [i will sing to be mad for my King. nothing, Lord is hindering this passion in my soul] and be a fool and get SUPER excited about Jesus Christ and I DO NOT CARE WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ME BECAUSE I AM BUSY BEING CONSUMED BY A HOLY SAVIOR WHO MAKES ME BURN INSIDE.

basically, my emotions take over in a lot of situations. it could be bad, but today i fully realized that God put that in my list of characteristics and personality traits and i'm gonna deal with tears and laughing way too hard for the rest of my life.

so.. whatever you notice about yourself that you think is super annoying to other people.. who cares? God made you that way for a specific purpose and i guarantee you can reach someone through that trait.

i feel good
:D