June 4, 2008

Embracing Accusations

I've spent much of my life embracing the accusations placed on me by satan. It's hard. It's hard to believe God is gracious enough to give us anything when we flat out know we deserve nothing.

The father of lies
Coming to steal, kill and destroy all my hopes of being good enough.
I hear him saying "cursed are the ones who can’t abide."
He’s right
Alleluia he’s right!

The devil is preaching the song of the redeemed that I am cursed and gone astray.
I cannot gain salvation,
Embracing accusation

Could the father of lies be telling the truth of God to me tonight?
If the penalty of sin is death, then death is mine.
I hear him saying "cursed are the ones who can’t abide."
He’s right
Alleluia he’s right!

Oh the devil’s singing over me an age old song that I am cursed and gone astray.
Singing the first verse so conveniently
He’s forgotten the refrain
Jesus saves!


I just think it's one of the most amazing and true songs I've ever heard. One of the hardest things for me to do in this stage of my life in my relationships and situations is to look at my mistakes and to MOVE ON. To accept the forgiveness that was offered to me a long time ago when Jesus died for me and to move past my sin to better things. It's easy to see your mistakes and acknowledge them. The hard part (for me) is moving on to get past my sins and to become better.

This song perfectly says what I feel so often and what I know is true. That every day the devil works hard to convince me that I am not loved and that I'll never be good; that if I can't follow all the "rules" then I am cursed and hopeless. Far too often, I believe he is right. I embrace accusations and by doing so, I fall a step behind because I'm more concerned with how condemned I feel than I am with getting past it. He makes me question everything, and he makes me feel like I might be confused or wrong. Maybe something I thought was from God was really from satan and vice versa. I did this when I broke up with Javy. For the first week, I couldn't figure out if I was led to end that relationship because God was moving me towards something different or because satan wanted to separate me to get me alone, weak and vulnerable. (Didn't take long to figure that one out).
If sin leads to death, I should be dead by now. The devil sings over me every day a song that tells me I am worthless. He works every day to tell me I am unloved and hopeless and alone; that my sin has overtaken me and I will never receive salvation, even though God has promised it. He sings this song, but he's forgotten what the refrain is. The refrain is beautiful and true and it covers every sin. Satan's song of condemnation may be hundreds, thousands, millions of pages long, but 2 simple words from God erase every evil and discouragement in our lives:

JESUS SAVES.

1 comment:

Jess said...

kelly - this spoke to me. it seems like every day i have a choice who and what i listen to -

God, help me to choose YOUR voice!

(um, i've never prayed on a comment before. sorry!)

love
jess