Mary.

So I was all ready to go to sleep (because I have to be up in about 5 hours to get ready and leave for Motion rehearsal and I only got about 3 hours of sleep last night) when I finally did my quiet time. I know. 2am. I'm a total slacker. Not the point.

In John 20:10-18, Jesus has died and has been put in the tomb. Mary and some of the disciples have already been there and discovered that He is gone. The disciples leave and Mary stands outside Jesus' tomb crying. As she's crying, she looks in the tomb and sees two angels standing where His body was. They ask her why she's crying, and she explains that Jesus is gone and she doesn't know where His body is. As soon as she said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, except she didn't recognize Him. So He asks her why she's crying and who she's looking for. Thinking He's the gardener, she asks Him if He has taken the body. And then...maybe the most amazing, intimate, beautifully simple verse I've read in a really long time:

Jesus said to her,"Mary."

And instantly she recognizes Him. Without hesitation, she realizes that He is Jesus, her Teacher, her Lord. I'm not sure yet how to explain why this affects me the way it does, but I think it's wonderful. She's crying and crying because her hope has died on the cross and she can't even see and take care of His body. I'm sure seeing 2 angels was pretty unbelievable for her, but all she wanted to do was figure out where Jesus was.
And then He shows up (because He always does), but she can't recognize Him. Not yet. Not until He calls her specifically by name. He doesn't have to yell. He doesn't have to fight. He doesn't have to do anything extreme. He says her name, and that's it. She's done. In my head, this moment is extremely intimate and personal. He doesn't have to shout. In my head, He barely breathes her name. But in that breath, her eyes are opened and she sees the Teacher for who He is, and I can just imagine the peace she has in that moment.

In my struggle to view Jesus has a personal entity in my life, I feel like maybe I'm looking at Him all the time. Maybe I'm staring right at Him without recognizing Him. But I'm just waiting for Him to say my name in one breath that wakes me up and floods my heart with peace. I'm just waiting for Him to say my name.